• Set goals. Find out what is most important to you at any given time. Only focus on one or two priorities at a time. Find mental clarity.
• Get back to good habits: Exercise, journaling, meditation, daily to-do list triage, whatever works for you; I'm going on daily swims/walks again. Use structure as scaffolding. Lena Reinhard
• Get help or seek community. Remember that you're not alone.
• Bodywork, intuitive movement. Dance class.

• January: yung pueblo - lighter
• February:

______________________

currently reading

• Leigh Bardugo - Hell Bent
• Chani Nicholas - You Were Born for This

next

• Holly Black - Book of Night
• Mariko Tamaki, Jillian Tamaki - This One Summer
• Jennifer Egan - The Candy House
• Jessica Andrews - Saltwater
• J.F. Bhairav, R. Khanna - Ghosts, Monsters and Demons of India
• Kat Gordon - Kenya Valley
• Joanne K. Rowling - Harry Potter et la coupe de feu
• Philipp Dettmer - Immune
• Octavio Paz - The Monkey Grammarian
• Charles Dickens - Great Expectations
• Dave Grohl - The Storyteller
• Stuart Clark - Beneath the Night

With my mum being about to die, this year is ending on such an absurd, low note that it's easy to forget the good events, feelings, changes. And there were plenty. I looked through all the photos I've taken in 2022 and was positively surprised what an amazing time I had. There are so many good memories and improvements I could implement. In a way, it was a very stressful year. But I've discovered that I'm at my happiest when things are moving, flowing, changing, progressing. The quiet times are when I struggle. Stillness and stagnation often make me feel sad and devoid of any hope. The first part of the year was heavily affected by travel planning, organising, making decisions. Moving, packing, getting things done. I had to clean out all my possessions at school and coordinate the move of the whole art department. I invited people to come and get things they needed, packed lots of moving b..._Who am I?_ is what you repeatedly ask yourself in H...

BOOKS

• Dark Academia (more!)
• Naomi Alderman - The Lessons
• new novels: Sally Ronney, Jennifer Egan, Naomi Novik
• re-read: A. Morgenstern
• library
• James Clear, Peter Crone

TV

• re-watch: SatC, HP, Fleabag
• continue: The Handmaid's Tale, Fargo, What We Do in the Shadows
• watch: The Girl on the Train, The Crown #5, Sleepy Hollow, The Great British Bake-Off #12, Ted Lasso

FASHION

• headscarves (with headband for more structure)
• channelling artist / art heiress / Peggy ...

• write it off
• vagus nerve stimulation / 2
• nasal douching with salt water
• manifestation, creation meditation
• cold showers
• (self-)massage
• nasal breathing, resonance frequency breathing
• self-compassion / a positive judgment of self-worth; not dependent on success or failure; accepts imperfection / self-compassion kicks in when self-esteem leaves us; it means accepting own imperfect nature / compassion is the desire to alleviate suffering.
• delayed gratification: I can have it - in 10 minutes
• start where you are because that is where you need to be
• habit stacking (attach it to an anchor - an already established habit) / habit bun...

Every recipe, whether we cook it or not, offers a vision of the good life, and a way of tasting food in your brain. It doesn't need to actually have been eaten in its time to feel real to us now. - Bee Wilson

Favourites:

• Tandoori seitan skewers
• Instant pot chana masala
• Sweet and sour sticky tofu
• Non-basic salad recipes
• Roasted fennel and cauliflower with chic...
• Eggplant and sweet potato with harissa, ...
• Bhindi Masala - vegan okra curry
• Potato broccoli curry
• Lentil soup
• Coconut Soup
• Chocolate cookies with buckwheat
• Sourdough bread / The Perfect Loaf
• Vegan Apple Cake
• Kaspressknödel
• Pumpkin spinach lasagna

• Yellow turmeric stains. On kitchenware, the countertop, my skin. Everywhere. Nasty.
• People. People are SO annoying. On public transport: talking loudly. Touching me. Talking on the phone! Talking to me. Someone with restless legs syndrome in my field of vision.
• Flashlight-style phone alarms. Phone alarms/sounds in general. Just put it on silent for God's sake. I really don't need to hear you playing Candy Crush.
• Not cleaning after your dog. Or actually doing it but throwing the poo bag on the ground instead of the garbage can. WHY?
• Littering in general.
• People not wearing their face masks (properly).
• Loud breathers.
• Not being able to pluck an eyebrow hair because it's still too short. Same goes fo...

Though your destination is not yet clear / You can trust the promise of this opening; / Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning / That is at one with your life's desire. / Awaken your spirit to adventure; / Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk; / Soon you will home in a new rhythm, / For your soul senses the world that awaits you. - JOHN O'DONOHUE

• Solange Knowles' loft / interview for Apartamento.
• 24 hours of meditation. Which isn't all that much for 3 months but imagining doing it all in one sitting is pretty cool.

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Anything that scares me? I'm gonna actively pursue it.

an unfinished list

• skydiving
• write a book
• make a website
• paint on a huge canvas
• chat up a stranger
• public speaking (I mean, I'm a teacher so it's probably not a severe fear but when I spoke at a wedding I was so nervous... I guess it depends on the audience but giving a speech still makes me anxious)
• address claustrophobia issues: being underground, tunnels, tight spaces
• address agoraphobia/social anxiety: large crowds, being close to people
• ✔ get a diving license
• ✔ travel alone

• Hays Code
• Hilma af Klimt
• Leonora Carrington
• symbolism and surrealism
• Magic realism
• Ashtanga and Kundalini yoga / Yoga Nidra
• Reiki
• Psychosomatic medicine
• cancel culture
• Michael Armitage
• pencil bouquet (You've Got Mail)
• Slawomir Elsner
• Maurice Ravel - L'Enfant et les Sortilèges
• Naomi Klein "Take back power" (New Statesman)
• lunar astrology
• Miss Christine / Frank Zappa's Hot Rats
• schizophrenia, loss of motivation, dysregulation of dopamine system
• Churchill's garden

• touch: get a massage, manicure or a haircut
• written word: read motivating books, go to the library or browse through the shelves with free books around the city
• water: go swimming, take a bath
• movement: yoga class, foam roller, stretching
• nature: go for a walk in the woods, look at a large body of water / buy new plants for the balcony, take care of them
• creativity: draw, knit, work with wood or clay
• write: just get out a journal and let it all out
• order: sorting/tidying/cleaning, write to-do-lists to clear the mind and get rid of bad thoughts, make plans, act on them
• support: talk to a good friend, a therapy session
• nourishment: cook a nice healthy meal, maybe try out a new recipe
• sound: watch ASMR videos, listen to mantras or singing bowls

• fashion
  • RipnDip: 1 / 2 / 3
  • Salty Crew sweater
  • Wandler Maggie leather bag
  • bomber jacket
  • silk bathrobe
  • Martens Jadon black/cherry red
  • Olives Vera saddle bag
  • Mother Earth hoodie
  • denim dress
  • kimono
  • Wandler bag (mytheresa)
  • clothing in royal blue
  • a nice, sturdy leather bag
  • jewellery: crystal earrings (Etsy) / triangular hoops / a baguette ring / everything from this Etsy shop
  • sunglasses: turtoise shell sunglasses with dark green lenses / 'Holy crap, I look fabulous' sunglasses (Céline) / Ace&Tate glasses / Izipizi sunglasses / red sungl...

Iceland

• excursions
  • Diving in the Silfra Fissure
  • Geysir + waterfall tour
  • Blue Lagoon
  • Northern lights
• Reykjavík
  • exit room
  • spa
  • nice restaurant for Margit's birthday
  • museums
  • shopping (?)

Istanbul

• hammam
• museums
• restaurants

• January: The Witches of Eastwick (1987)
• Practical Magic (1998)
• Ghostbusters (1984)
• The First Wives Club (1996)
• The Menu (2022)
• Ocean's 8 (2018)

_________

currently watching

watchlist

• White Lotus #1 (2021)
• Russian Doll #2 (2022)
• American Gods #1 (2017)
• Desenfrenadas #1 (2020)
• Alice in Borderland #1 (2020)
• Ted Lasso #1 (2020)
• Yellowjackets #1 (2021)
• Spencer (2022)
• Big Night (1996)
• Mr. Jones (1993)
• To Wong Foo (1995)

• dance at a party
• sing karaoke
• book a dance class
• go on a yoga/(Vipassana) meditation retreat
• Literaturhaus
• Gärtnerplatztheater
• Staatsoper
• Hippie Chay
• Madam Chutney
• Café Zeitgeist
• book an improv theatre workshop
• visit Ramapriya at a yoga class
• book a Spanish class / university seminar
• attend a horse race and place a bet
• visit Africa for the first time; go on safari
• join a gym again
• escape room with VR goggles
• hug all my friends / just lie next to eac...

• Shibori
• learn Spanish (conversational level; trips to Barcelona and Mexico)
• French (finish reading Harry Potter and work with the grammar books)
• book a language course
• ✔ screenprinting
• metalsmithing
• a better swimming technique
• 100 ASL signs
• Russian (brush up my grammar and vocabulary)
• sailing license
• paint on sage green cardboard in royal blue ink, glue it on muted rose-coloured paper
• Bali hands project: paint or sculpt hands (wood, print, clay, limestone, papier maché, linocut)
• join the sofa singers
• glass blowing workshop

• the Hampstead Heath Ladies' Pond
• Virginia Woolf's A Room of One's Own
• motorcycles and chainsaws
• the year of lush roses and nasty ants
• greek mythology: Demeter and Persephone (Baubo/vulva presentations, the Croatian on the subway telling stories about his daughter and Greek wife, Carmen Rohrbach mentioning the myth in connection with Sicily, Demeter's home country)
• the number 22
• the urge to write a book and buy a house
• Miss Havisham from Charles Dickens' Great Expectations

• 2005: London (alone, staying with a host family for three weeks and meeting Ann-Katrin and Friedericke)
• 2006: Paris (graduation trip)
• 2007: Paris (Friedericke)
• 2010: London (Tamara)
• Stockholm (Lexi)
• Paris (university)
• Côte d'Azur (Lena, Lexi and Amélie)
• Venice (Bert)
• 2011: Barcelona (Lexi)
• Prague (Lena, Michi and Christian)
• Venice (university)
• Hungary (university)
• Vienna / Balaton (Lena)
• Côte d'Azur (Lena, Lexi, Tobi, Michi, Yanic, Christian)
• 2012: Budapest (Lexi, Yanic, Michi)
• Amsterdam (Lexi)
• 2013: Antibes / Côte d'Azur (Lexi, Yanic, Michi)