• Destroy what you know.
• Bonding with Margit over a 90s nostalgia attack triggered by a plastic pacifier necklace I'd seen. Thinking about going wild at a toy store spending a fixed budget on silly toys and gummy snakes.
• Iced green tea flavoured with lemon and prickly pear.
• Sending lenghty, image-heavy text messages to my mum (they're basically personal essays) after not talking for 5 weeks.
• Buying a Lindt chocolate bunny as a treat for myself, just because it comes with a pink ribbon now instead of a red one. It's white strawberry chocolate and yes, I am indeed a marketing victim.
• Instead of crossing things off a list I highlighted completed tasks with my new "magic" colour-changing pencil. And it was beautiful. But I'm one step ahead already; I should have mentioned writing with my...

• January: Don't Look Up (2021)
• Cruella (2021)
• One Hundred and One Dalmatians (1961)
• Dexter: New Blood (2021)
• February: After Life #3 (2022)
• Queer Eye #6 (2021)
• Kitz #1 (2020)
• Superstore #1 (2015)
• And Just Like That #1 (2021)
• Superstore #2 (2016)
• Superstore #3 (2017)
• Inventing Anna #1 (2022)
• March: Superstore #4 (2018)
• Superstore #5 (2019)
• Superstore #6 (2020)
• Licorice Pizza (2022)
• April: Disjointed #1 (2017)
• Encanto (2021)
• Töchter (2021)
• The High Note (2020)
• Last Night in Soho (2021)

BOOKS

• Dark Academia (more!)
• Naomi Alderman - The Lessons
• new novels: Sally Ronney, Jennifer Egan, Naomi Novik
• re-read: A. Morgenstern
• library
• James Clear, Peter Crone

TV

• re-watch: SatC, HP, Fleabag
• continue: The Handmaid's Tale, Fargo, What We Do in the Shadows
• watch: The Girl on the Train, The Crown #5, Sleepy Hollow, The Great British Bake-Off #12, Ted Lasso

FASHION

• headscarves (with headband for more structure)
• channelling artist / art heiress / Peggy ...

• write it off
• vagus nerve stimulation
• nasal douching with salt water
• manifestation, creation meditation
• cold showers
• (self-)massage
• nasal breathing, resonance frequency breathing
• self-compassion / a positive judgment of self-worth; not dependent on success or failure; accepts imperfection / self-compassion kicks in when self-esteem leaves us; it means accepting own imperfect nature / compassion is the desire to alleviate suffering.
• delayed gratification: I can have it - in 10 minutes
• start where you are because that is where you need to be
• habit stacking (attach it to an anchor - an already established habit) / habit bun...

“Every recipe, whether we cook it or not, offers a vision of the good life, and a way of tasting food in your brain. It doesn't need to actually have been eaten in its time to feel real to us now." - Bee Wilson

Favourites:

• Tandoori seitan skewers
• Instant pot chana masala
• Sweet and sour sticky tofu
• Non-basic salad recipes
• Roasted fennel and cauliflower with chic...
• Eggplant and sweet potato with harissa, ...
• Bhindi Masala - vegan okra curry
• Potato broccoli curry
• Lentil soup
• Coconut Soup
• Chocolate cookies with buckwheat
• Sourdough bread / The Perfect Loaf
• Vegan Apple Cake
• Kaspressknödel
• Pumpkin spinach lasagna

• Yellow turmeric stains. On kitchenware, the countertop, my skin. Everywhere. Nasty.
• People. People are SO annoying. On public transport: talking loudly. Touching me. Talking on the phone! Talking to me. Someone with restless legs syndrome in my field of vision.
• Flashlight-style phone alarms. Phone alarms/sounds in general. Just put it on silent for God's sake. I really don't need to hear you playing Candy Crush.
• Not cleaning after your dog. Or actually doing it but throwing the poo bag on the ground instead of the garbage can. WHY?
• Littering in general.
• People not wearing their face masks (properly).
• Loud breathers.
• The smell of clementine peel.
• Not being able to pluck an eyebrow hair b...

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Anything that scares me? I'm gonna actively pursue it.

an unfinished list

• skydiving
• write a book
• make a website
• paint on a huge canvas
• chat up a stranger
• public speaking (I mean, I'm a teacher so it's probably not a severe fear but when I spoke at a wedding I was so nervous... I guess it depends on the audience but giving a speech still makes me anxious)
• address claustrophobia issues: being underground, tunnels, tight spaces
• address agoraphobia/social anxiety: large crowds, being close to people
• ✔ get a diving license
• ✔ travel alone

I'm not even sure it's wise to set goals for the coming year because I don't know what will be possible. However, in this spirit I will phrase my first intention:

• Find a new goal. A new direction. I feel awfully stuck and stagnant at the moment and while sitting with this feeling surely is a lesson I have to learn I am longing for movement and progress. What do I really want in life?
• I'm going to try a habit forming technique. I chose three areas I want to improve and I'm going to dedicate 5 minutes to each of them every day. Meditation (mind), strength training (body) and drawing (creativity). Don't break the chain!
• Find people I vibe with. I've been so disappointed by many of my friends. By their limited world-view, by their lack of drive, openness, understanding, sense of adventure. I really need a new tribe.

• Hays Code
• Hilma af Klimt
• Leonora Carrington
• symbolism and surrealism
• Magic realism
• Ashtanga and Kundalini yoga
• Reiki
• Psychosomatic medicine
• cancel culture
• Michael Armitage
• pencil bouquet (You've Got Mail)
• Slawomir Elsner
• Maurice Ravel - L'Enfant et les Sortilèges
• Naomi Klein "Take back power" (New Statesman)
• lunar astrology
• Miss Christine / Frank Zappa's Hot Rats
• schizophrenia, loss of motivation, dysregulation of dopamine system
• Churchill's garden

• touch: get a massage, manicure or a haircut
• written word: read motivating books, go to the library or browse through the shelves with free books around the city
• water: go swimming, take a bath
• movement: yoga class, foam roller, stretching
• nature: go for a walk in the woods, look at a large body of water / buy new plants for the balcony, take care of them
• creativity: draw, knit, work with wood or clay, write
• order: sorting/tidying/cleaning, write to-do-lists to clear the mind and get rid of bad thoughts, make plans, act on them
• support: talk to a good friend or, you know, mum
• nourishment: cook a nice healthy meal, maybe try out a new recipe
• sound: watch ASMR videos, listen to mantras or singing bowls
• warmth: have tea or matcha latte, get a hot water bottle, take a bath, wear warm and comf...

• fashion
  • Wandler Maggie leather bag
  • bomber jacket
  • silk bathrobe
  • Martens Jadon black/cherry red
  • Olives Vera saddle bag
  • Mother Earth hoodie
  • denim dress
  • kimono
  • Wandler bag (mytheresa)
  • clothing in royal blue
  • a nice, sturdy leather bag
  • jewellery: crystal earrings (Etsy) / triangular hoops / a baguette ring / everything from this Etsy shop
  • sunglasses: turtoise shell sunglasses with dark green lenses / 'Holy crap, I look fabulous' sunglasses (Céline) / Ace&Tate glasses / Izipizi sunglasses / red sunglasses
  • a cashmere scarf in a greyish pink hue

• Argentina
  • Parque Iguazú/waterfalls
  • Cafayate
  • Tilcara
• Belize
• Bolivia
• Salar de Uyuni
• Brazil
• Caribbean Islands
• Chile
  • Atacama (San Pedro)
  • Lagunas escondidas de Baltinac
  • Santiago/ Valparaíso
• Colombia
  • Caño Cristales
  • Barichara (Santander)
  • Parque Tayrona
  • Valle de Cocora

after the lockdown

• ✔ go swimming
• ✔ go to the cinema
• ✔ go dancing
• ✔ ice-cream parlour
• ✔ Indian supermarket (buy Chana Masala spice and Tom Yum paste)
• ✔ see an exhibition
• Literaturhaus
• Gärtnerplatztheater
• Staatsoper
• draw in a museum (Glyptothek)
• Medical Art and More
• Munich Readery
• Guatemuc
• Garuda
• Hippie Chay
• Kommbar
• Madam Chutney
• Café Zeitgeist
• book an improv theatre workshop

• Shibori
• learn Spanish (conversational level; trips to Barcelona and Mexico)
• French (finish reading Harry Potter and work with the grammar books)
• book a language course
• ✔ screenprinting
• metalsmithing
• a better swimming technique
• 100 ASL signs
• Russian (brush up my grammar and vocabulary)
• sailing license
• paint on sage green cardboard in royal blue ink, glue it on muted rose-coloured paper
• Bali hands project: paint or sculpt hands (wood, print, clay, limestone, papier maché, linocut)
• join the sofa singers
• glass blowing workshop

• Andrea Pitzer - Icebound: Shipwrecked at the Edge of the World
• Peter Matthiessen - The Snow Leopard
• Tom Hornbein - Everest: The West Ridge
• Jamaica Kincaid - Among Flowers: A Walk in the Himalaya

• the Hampstead Heath Ladies' Pond
• Virginia Woolf's A Room of One's Own
• motorcycles and chainsaws
• the year of lush roses and nasty ants
• greek mythology: Demeter and Persephone (Baubo/vulva presentations, the Croatian on the subway telling stories about his daughter and Greek wife, Carmen Rohrbach mentioning the myth in connection with Sicily, Demeter's home country)
• the number 22
• the urge to write a book and buy a house
• Miss Havisham from Charles Dickens' Great Expectations

• 2005: London (alone, staying with a host family for three weeks and meeting Ann-Katrin and Friedericke)
• 2006: Paris (graduation trip)
• 2007: Paris (Friedericke)
• 2010: London (Tamara)
• Stockholm (Lexi)
• Paris (university)
• Côte d'Azur (Lena, Lexi and Amélie)
• Venice (Bert)
• 2011: Barcelona (Lexi)
• Prague (Lena, Michi and Christian)
• Venice (university)
• Hungary (university)
• Vienna / Balaton (Lena)
• Côte d'Azur (Lena, Lexi, Tobi, Michi, Yanic, Christian)
• 2012: Budapest (Lexi, Yanic, Michi)
• Amsterdam (Lexi)
• 2013: Antibes / Côte d'Azur (Lexi, Yanic, Michi)