• MO with Daxton : 3/5

- first make out, was actually really fun but it was so embarrassing and he cut my lip and I was drowning in saliva, BUR HE GRABBED MY ASA ABD MY BOOBS AND LIKE LET MY TOUNGE SLIDE THROUGH HIS TWETH HOTTTT

• MO with Peyton : 4.6/5

- WOWEE she kissed on my neck and upper breast, it was so amazing but I wish it lasted longer

• let wyatt suck on my tiddie : 4/5

- OMFG ISHS OH KSDUE MY BOOBIE?? It felt like, AMAZING, and he grabbed them and his look when he saw them killed me- I wish we would’ve made out tho

• MO with wyatt 5/5

- 9/10 HOTTTT SOOOO HOTTTT back of my car...

I might just leave this list with a few and then leave an opened doc as it grows

• caprisun

pacific cooler was the flavor you brought me It turned out it was my favorite, but I don’t know if it’s because I like the flavor or if it was simply because it from you, I didn’t even think you paid that much attention.

• mazda

you got your first car a few weeks ago, though you’ve held your license for a year before me. You picked me up the second the keys passed into your hands, god that was the best drive we ever had. You’re not around much, like I wish you were, i sometimes wear the hoodie you over wore. On the Fourth of July we didn’t celebrate independence, Instead we drove around and talked about types of asendence. we...

• to love the people that need it
• to help mone sleep
• to hold my baby cousins
• to make my friends laugh
• to do dumb shit people are afraid to do
• to help people feel comfortable
• to be hot and sexy
• to inspire others to work towards health
• to learn
• someones gonna need an excitable half asian gf that can make you feel safe right
• worlds best cousin actually

• Fanstatsic planet
• Benlladonna of sadness
• Watership down
• Spirited away
• Millennium actress
• The take of princess kagyua
• Loving Vincent
• Your name
• modern love
• Steven universe✔️
• earsed ✔️
• the end of the f***king world✔️
• wall flowers
• me and earl and the dying girl
• nine perfect strangers
• scream queens ✔️
• bunny senpai
• promising young woman✔️
• RUN
• the map of tiny perfect things
• over the garden wall ✔️

• sunrises
• collecting everything
• attached memories
• pretty teeth
• always content
• loud music
• eyeliner
• skin tight clothes
• cat obbsession
• kind and genuine
• no bras
• excitable
• memorable
• spotify obbsession
• mcdonalds srpite
• pretty privledge
• small wrists
• pretty hair
• short eye lashes
• aspiring nudist
• self absorbed

so I’ll just take a footnote in your life, - Conan gray

(Not in any particular order)

• Singsong version of my name or nickname “Moniqey”
• Kittens
• Any piano cover of any song
• Spam paragraphs of love
• Strangers compliments
• gay
• caparisun
• hugs from special people :)
• long nights reading a book
• oceans and beaches right after it rains
• inside jokes
• driveway convos
• screaming music sessions
• random dance parties
• aquariums
• malls
• the homedepot
• huge, raging crows for concerts
• airports

• jenessa

(the first person I called right after my first suicide attempt. she saved my life. she's also like an older sister to me.)

• Brooke

(my ex best friend, but the first person I did everything to help. I may of saved her life but I lost so much. she is my trauma. but I love her.)

• josh

(my homie slice since day one. we've been best friends for forever and he has always been my biggest supporter. he speaks on my behalf, hears what I need to stay, he offers to walk me home and help me study and just overall care ant me. he honestly was the only person who gripped my hand when I was at my lowest.)

• trying to remain positive!
• helping people feel seen <3
• giving the homies hugs!
• telling my friends the things they need to hear
• being able to meet any and every vibe
• sking lmfao
• liking my body
• makeup
• knowing what I did wrong and trying to grow from it
• making friends!
• being able to talk to anyone
• loving everyone regardless of anything <3
• forgetting and suppressing
• parking lmfao

• cigarettes out the window - tv girl
• hold me while you wait - Lewis capaldi
• male fantasy - Billie eilish
• please don’t go - abbey glover
• mom I think I’m gay
• daddy issues - the nbhd
• falling - harry styles

• do I annoy you?
• please help me
• can you please just hold me for a bit?
• I get it. I wouldn't like seeing me everyday either.
• bruh stfu im literally sexier then u
• NO YOURE JUST MEAN THIS ISNT WHAT "HONEST" MEANS
• that hurt
• but, I made that- for you-
• omfg ur perfect
• no that looks literally AWFUL what are you THINKING
• I am going to SHRED YOUR SPINE
• stop I want to bury myself in you
• say my name again
• im so so so so sorry
• im just your problem
• I want to get rid of myself too
• is that all I am? such a tragedy you cant handle it and you GIVE UP? SO YOURE GOIN...

• Someone to dance with in a parking lot
• Someone to be tender to me and brush my hair or just help me get dressed idfk
• Someone to play with my hair
• Someone to kiss on my inner thighs
• Someone to find lil stupid things and hand them to me
• Sticky notes with “ I love you” on places I wouldn’t expect :,)
• Someon to sing while I play the piano
• Someone to let me sit on their lap and do their makeup (alll the time)
• Someone to do my hair and telling me that im cute
• Someone who takes advantage of the lil things that make me flustered and just whip wm out in unexpected situaitions
• Sitting in someones lappp
• someone to kiss me where it hurts or saying “i’ll kiss it better!!”
• someone to take and nap with me and we cu...

• skinny dipped in the woods
• went to a foreign country
• saw kurtis Conner live
• fell asleep at a rock concert
• got in a hit and run
• kissed Kaitlyn at church
• spun and danced in the rain with Kaitlyn
• crying in hadlees car
• first time trying peach tea
• getting ready for prom and looking like the hottest bitch ever
• sitting in the parking lot in our prom dresses (me and had LMDAOOOOO)
• me and jaydan walking around the Griffith observatory
• when me and lindie had a night picnic
• me and my mom at our midnight walks
• when me and Marlena sat on my roof and watched the fireworks
• kissing issac as balloons fell arond us
• watching the sunset with simona and nikki...

kiss count

• 14

body count

• 0

weight

• 126

happiness

• 2/10

confidence

• 4/10

relationship with fam

• 2/10

relationship

• single

will to keep going

• a drawn portrait of me + a friend :)
• shein/romwe haul
• spotify premium
• people like us (books one and two)
• silk sheets + pillowcases
• custom sticker sheet
• waist trainer
• excerscises bands
• waist trainer

0 :(

• jaydan calls me her baby nick :)
• I have the best running inside joke with lindie
• Cooper always asks for me to come sit by him in so many things
• Cooper p always comes and hugs me
• mabel rests her head on my shoulders <3
• Kaitlyn lets me bury my face into her chest
• mone throws it back in the funniest way omfg
• Braxton always hypes me up
• hadlee actually likes hanging out with me <3 (and plays Roblox with me)
• whenever someone makes me/us their wallpaper!!
• forehead kisses <3
• Lissa always takes everyone home before me cause we have the best driveway convos
• Ayden Bradshaw hypes me up at all the dances it makes me really happy

• my voice
• my face
• my eyes
• my intellegence
• my dad
• lyric and melody
• education or whatever
• the outdoors
• country music (ik, what)
• foods other then red meats and noodles
• alone time

• if im honest I think I see more colors then the average person so idk I like to be the main character
• you gotta be the good you want to see
• art is VERY important. But it comes in EVERY form. as long as it brings you joy in what you create, its art.
• !!!! little faded pastel abandoned corner street houses and so cute
• I wish I could pet and the kitties
• I want to give all the people who are struggling and give them hugs and reassurance
• the sun is so warm!!! she lets us see!!
• the moon is so sweet, she lets us dream <3
• two types of people in my life: babies and moms(or dads)
• honestly maximalism is the way to go
• honestly its filled to the brim with really shitty people. But theres good ones. a...

• visceral
• insipid
• inamorata
• escape
• vicarious
• vivid
• zigzag
• cutie
• constellation
• mantis

• "You're gonna make it thru and no you're not getting overweight. Your perfect just the way you are. Your friends will ake it thru their tuff times Anytime Moniq. Just know if you need to talk. I'm here for you.You can talk to me whenever"
• "I just found out Monig has the same birthday as my dog"
• "The fact of the matter is that you are good enough. No matter if you have one friend or a million friends and a bf. You will always have worth no matter who recognizes it."
• "let's make out and get me on your ass"
• "R u dislecic"
• "Your energy is beyond god like"
• "Ur literally so cute and ur makeup is always so good and ur style is sexy and ur the funniest every and ur super outgoing like boys be missing out with u Moniq if I was a guy I'd fall in love with u on t...

• personalized nickname
• singsonging my name
• compliments abt my insecurities
• being told “I like when you do that!”
• people sending me stuff that remind them of me or us
• making me/us your wallpaper
• somoone listening to the playlists I make
• people drawing stuff for me
• writing lil notes
• asking if I’m okay
• hugging me without me asking
• picking up lil phrases I use
• asking me to come do lil mundane tasks
• soft teasing
• head pats
• nose boops
• bringing me food
• being manually fed

• mercedes always does this little tongue thing when she's thinking
• everyone on brainy gets how annoying ads are so they comment the answer
• josh and mabel notice when I wear my "I want to literally kms" hoodie and act accordingly without having to ask. just hugs <3
• kialtyn always knows when im done crying and just lets me fall into her
• Hadlee's got a six sense for when im LITERALLY miles away and I dont feel so great
• Pinterest knows what I truly want.
• my mom shows her love by offering to make my fave foods when im sad
• apparently im not the only one that stalks socials LMFAOO
• employees are just doing their besttt
• Lissa picks the same scab when she's worried

sound

• the collective amen
• the sound of a suitcase getting off an escalator or it running down a moving sidewalk
• laughs
• closing a thick book
• cat purr
• high C or a low A (piano)
• tuning of a really good orchestra
• homedepot
• the lil noises i make when i wake up :)
• daisy ducks va
• dewayns “hello!” in his spotify ad for perfume
• long nails doin the tappy thing
• Ashinikkios moan in slumber party
• country boy accent “oh man”
• when someone singsongs my name
• entire crowds of people screaming a song
• lindies verbratto

• my future

I don’t know if I should stay in town and finish my senior year, take a gap year and work, or just start college in the fall. So much to do

• do I have any actual friends or am I just someone people feel bad for and invite along
• my sexuality
• how to love my dad
• how to manage real world relationships?????
• bruh one day I’m a skinny legend the next I’ve got fingers in the back of my throat make up ur mind smh dumb stupid body
• my boss is retiring am I gonna lose my job
• I need to see an OBGYN because my cooter is having problems!!

• Conan gray concert with lindie and lydia
• harry styles block party
• more photo shoots
• get so ripped it’s insane
• spend more time with jay again
• HEAL
• shopping spree
• rage room
• write more poems
• kiss more people slay
• Caribbean trip slayyyyy

- standing in sunrises - washing my face - wearing satin - shaving my legs - eating cucumbers - reading books in the sunlight - walking down the street at sunrise - dancing in the dark - being absolutely naked - getting strangers compliments - smiling! - big lashes and cute eyeliner - when I get hugged! - anytime I drink sprite from a fancy cup - listening to my playlists - sitting in the shower

josh - old pine, deep lush greens, worn books and oversized hoodies. warm cups of tea, throw blankets. beat up truck with soft static music on the radio. theres torn up beige leather underneath. rocks and crystals on a dresser, drawings on the wall. tear soaked pillow and framed pictures on the desk. it smells like home.

Jaydan - warm beach days. Fruit smoothie stands and wavy hair. Hushed laughter and a smile from a distance. Rocks throw in streams, humming under her breath. Hazy lazy summer walks and tire swings. Fireworks out on the rooftop- holding hands.

Hadlee - soft porcelain skin. worn sketchbook pages and a barely stable hard drive. Purple nail polish and throw blankets. Spring sunrises and low, soft music. jacked earbuds and sprinklers. cabin living rooms and kaleidoscopes. wind chimes in the front of a quaint house, dancing in the front lawn, ripped screen doors and juic...

animal testing:

• I actually have VERY mixed feelings on this? I love animals they are babies <3 but quite honestly what it comes down to is whats being used. Honestly- rats are RATS. theres an overpopulation of them and if anything its fine cause they serve like no other purpose. But like cats and dogs?? no why

cyberbullying

• its not real

happiness

• its subjective, its not measured in success or wealth. we all haave something that makes us content. Wheter for some people thats raising a family, or being the CEO, your happines is measure by how YOU want it to be.

• march 14, 2012 -awfultune
• St. Bernard - lincoln
• unfair - the nbhd
• u. - celestial
• hold me while you wait - lewis capaldi
• hate me - cheliji
• see you later - jena raine
• strawberry blonde - chloe morido
• literal legend - ayesha erotica
• i hate that youre happy - tiny little houses
• i wanna know - tea
• rip 2 my youth - nbhd
• grow a pear - Kesha
• slut - ppcoaine

• make sure you protect me too, okay?” - SAO asuna
• “take her to the moon for me” - bing bong
• "you were supposed to love me" - one of us is lying
• "I read our love wrong" - Aimee
• "dont say bye then. say hello! hello teddy. hello Spencer." - good luck Charlie
• "love is just a shout into the void, and yet Im still in love you!" - the fault in our stars
• “i want to read about you in the papers! But not in the obituaries” - georgia

• i am literally such a lover, i will hug and kiss you and tell you i love you as often as i can
• i write poetry, and i could write a poem abt you
• i am so small, so kissable and holdable... why am i not rn
• i undrstand all the love langauges!! i will write, touch, help, listen, care :))
• i literally will listen to anyones problems and offer support to strangers
• i try to give eveyone the benefit of the doubt
• i strive to know what everyones going through so they can feel like theyre not alone
• i love playing in parks please swing w/ me
• im down for anything at any given moment
• i will happily give up anything if i car abt u enough

kiss list

• jaydan
• hayley
• lissa
• kaitlyn
• mercedes
• yuya
• chance
• maria
• dreydan- 2
• ayden
• Jackson
• jaydee
• daxton -2
• dave
• wyatt
• issac
• gino

confessed their love

• chirstopher

!! : completed

• stay in a villa in italy by the ocean
• stay in a cottage in the netherlands
• go clubbing
• make out in the back of a car !!
• swim in the dark !!
• live in tiny house
• learnt o hotwire a car
• own a rat
• kiss someone under the stars !!
• SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE A BLANET FORT W/ ME !!
• hold an eagle
• trespass somewhere !!
• eat tubs of frosting
• make out with whoever i want lmao !!
• skinny dip in the ocean
• go for a run at 2 am
• bulk buy a bunch of twixes
• go wild in my style and be super extra in fashion
• v bold makeup

• someone gave me flowers
• someone bought me anything to match with
• someone told me that im a priority, not an option
• someone made me a playlist
• someone wrote a poem abt me
• someone drew a picture of me w/ them
• someone made edits abt me
• someone helped me get ready for bed like im a lil kid
• someone took me in their arms and told me im safe
• everyone was a bit nicer to me
• I got the apologies I deserve
• someone told me all the reasons they love me
• I got invited to something intimate and personal
• someone kissed my nose
• I got cuddled again :C
• someone washed my hair/back for me