• not being able to do arabian
• not being able to do flowers
• never ever being able to do fouettes, therefore
• not getting into any good summer programs
• staying here until i graduate
• not getting into a professional company
• having julia be right about everything
• failure

you probably can't see it but i am drinking a diet sunkist & picking up a slice of pizza, and i weigh like 95 pounds.

• sufjan stevens
• regina spektor
• beirut
• sigur ros
• radiohead
• igor stravinsky
• arcade fire
• the decemberists
• patrick wolf
• bloc party
• crystal castles
• crappy music that reminds me of camp (ie shontelle, hellogoodbye, lady gaga, jay z)

• clean room & sort laundry
• do pilates/yoga stuff
• study for math b regents
• do theraband stuff
• find my old moleskine
• watch jewels (rubies)
• stay up really late talking to people on ichat and playing the sims

• i'm so tired right now, my brain is absolutely fried
• i think i did quite badly on the math regents
• my room looks like the site of some sort of nuclear bomb explosion
• ertyfughijkjgfdszxfg

• "Your lover has been magically transformed into an animal, and the only way to restore your lover is to mate with them. Here's the question: Which animal would cause you the least psychological damage?"
• "What would you do to me for a Klondike bar?"
• "Switch pants with the person sitting to your left."
• "If you had one last day to spend with three people, who would they be and what would you do?"
• "The person being dared must pick a guy and that guy must do that girls makeup with a blindfold on."
• "The person dared must dunk their shirt in water and put it back on."

• lots and lots of ballet classes at a good pre-pro school
• saranac india pale ale
• a studio apartment in a city
• no curfew and/or drugs
• more pairs of nicola curry's pointe shoes

93

• unpack
• find out what time class is tomorrow
• take a shower
• start making music again

• calluses, cuts, and scars all over my feet
• left leg
  • one near ankle, one behind calf, five on top of thigh + two small cuts
• right leg
  • one near ankle, three on calf, huge birthmark near knee, huge scar on knee, four in zigzag on upper thigh
• birthmark on ribcage, two freckles near left collarbone, cuts on stomach
• left arm
  • twelve on upper arm, eight on lower arm, four on shoulder
• right arm
  • two on upper arm, one on lower arm
• scars on fingers

• done "hard" drugs
• dated anyone seriously
• had short hair
• gone past ~shortstop~ lol
• attempted suicide
• driven a go-kart successfully
• gotten really REALLY drunk
• received a scholarship to anything
• stayed in the hospital for longer than an evening

it would have been so much easier to write stuff i have done!