i can't believe that i'm not enough (not enough)/ and so long, no one will be here to save you and no one will be here to let you know / let you know / this is your world (this is your world) [ew by joji on nectar (2020)]

and if you don't love me now / you will never love me again [the chain by fleetwood mac on rumours (1977)]

but i'm in a rover / i won't feel a thing / ... / guess i've been awake / thinking bout our fate / fighting two devils / blood in my toothpaste / thought it would be nice [NITROUS by joji on nectar (2020)]

warm rain and thunder / days are getting darker / ... / hunnybee, hunnybee / there's no such thing / as sweeter as sting [hunnybee by unknown mortal orchestra on sex and food (2018)]

look, you wanna play golf or you wanna fuck around? — leona lansing / the newsroom

is it possible the greater glory belongs to me? — rebecca halliday / the newsroom

what are your choices when someone puts a gun to your head? you take the gun, or you pull out a bigger one. or, you call their bluff. or, you do any one of a hundred and forty six other things. — harvey spectre / suits /

i'm going to run the both of you off the road, into a wall. i'm going to kill you. — amy santiago / brooklyn nine nine / 3x19

i was fucking straight forward with you, now you're going to get machete'd to death — james may / the grand tour / bolivia special

i'm going to get shot. it'll probably be an air pistol to the buttocks. it won't b...

guy (l'imperatrice remix) — remi wolf 1:40-2:39

NITROUS - joji 0:56-1:10

shangri-la - electric light orchestra 4:16-5:30

you mean to tell me people really throw stuff from the ground into a metal bowl over a fire and it tastes GOOD?

chefs to watch

• j kenji lopez-alt - i am treating this man's recipes like prophecies of a good time!
• andrew rea - i will never attempt the turturkeykey in my life but i do love watching a bald man struggle to fit a turkey inside of. another turkey.
• jon yao - man keeps it simple. michelin starred restaurant in a strip mall? homages and love letters to home cooking from immigrant parents?
• eric sze - "authenticity means jack shit to me" SAY LESS KING. hits include bdsm chicken
• isaac toups - this man is so NOLA i feel like he does a line of cajun seasoning every morning to start his day
• ben & brent from primetime - theoretically i could butcher a whole pig. emotionally? imagine ...

jae, 20, she/her, philippines

• fuck it we ball
• i like screaming into the void and thinking about whether or not i'm being pretentious and whether or not writing that question down makes me pretentious regardless and so forth and so on. sisyphus' rock of pretention if you will...
• the new mcdonalds macbeth. the only burg...
• no algorithm no feed no updates if you've made it here you've done some good ol internet exploring. here is a shiny sticker and my undying undulating eternal love.
• there is no audience to perform for, there is no approval, no admiration to attain. there is no role worth playing. there is no one to convince. let it go.
• let it go.

i started writing this in early december but then put it off because it felt too early. and now it is late december and time roundhouse kicked me down the stairs. anyways. year four zero views zero engagement zero people who care about this little corner of the internet and yet, i persist in screaming into the void: OVERSHARING IS NECESSARY AND NEEDS TO EXIST IN A SPACE IN BETWEEN PUBLIC AND PRIVATE WHERE THE SLIGHTEST SEMBLANCE OF EXTERNAL & INTERNAL VALIDATION CAN BE ACHIEVED.

1. FIC WRITTEN

technically if you add the wordcount across all three fics together it's more than last year. technically. but OH BABY i wrote! three prompt fills for there's only one you fest but it was a blast and i need to be writing more, actually, i need the worms in the brain to start decomposing the thoughts i've got going up there.

lowest of the lowest | nico hischier/luke... ok this one is fun because 1) i got to p...

• notion departure hall for all flights leaving, including thoughts/plans/projects/links -> brain organizer
• listography ordered thoughts
• notes (un)ordered thoughts
• are.na visual thoughts
• pinterest visual inspiration
• goodreads books database

you can find me on tumblr at emperorseamount.