listography: dirty pretty thing

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two decades of lies

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Excerpts of my life, recorded and dealt with using a pen and a piece of paper without the clacking of my fingernails hitting the keyboard.

March 23, 2008 - As the rain spat at my feet, I sat at the bus stop with that dress, that cardigan, that bag, that hair, those eyes, that leg just so: to be perfectly and alluringly casual, gazing whistfully into the distance, but really staring at my reflection in a thousand panes of glass. Of course some man also waiting struck up a conversation, and I measured my words, so carelessly thrown out that every ear was captivated. And oh i hate being like this, using everything to validate myself because I'm just so lonely.
April 7, 2007 - Regent's park in the sunshine and 3 litres of lambrini. Shaking uncontrollably at some distressing, but untrue news. Drink, after drink guzzled down at the dubli...

feb 17 2009 ∞
nov 22 2010 +

oct 1 2008 ∞
nov 22 2010 +

Or the things I am unlikely to forget.

F and her talent of tripping on nothing at all . The one I phone when am in need of talking about girly things such as shoes and shoes. And make up. And maybe more shoes.
R and her stillness. The calm within the storm. So put together, but there is something dark, always. Some anger, something you don't know but don't want to find out. Not because you are afraid of it. But because you don't want her to get to the breaking point. Yet knowing that if she does, you'll love her nonetheless. Forever. Always.
M and her quick wit with an undercurrent of real wisdom. The endless issues and the tides of emotion she keeps repressed. The late night calls talking about everything and nothing at all.

nov 22 2010 ∞
nov 23 2010 +

Or the list with whom I would have hot animalistic sex with regardless of place, location, and time.

nov 22 2010 ∞
nov 22 2010 +