• "every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. and, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. it really is the most poetic thing i know about physics: you are all stardust." lawrence m.krauss
• "memories are what warm you up from the inside. but they're also what tear you apart." haruki murakami
• "i would like to be the air / that inhabits you for a moment / only. i would like to be that unnoticed / & that necessary." margaret atwood
• "if you died, it would be like my bones had been removed. no one would know why, but i would collapse." sarah kane
• "everybody has a secret world inside of them. all of the people of the world, i mean everybody. no matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they have all got unimaginable, magnificen..._neil gaiman_

• she makes me happy
• she makes me want to live
• her smile lights up my day
• she is so funny she just makes me giggle all the time
• she can make a joke out of everything
• she is very cuddly and i like cuddly
• she really cares about me yay
• she knows me inside out
• she gets me the best presents

• climb in bed during a thunderstorm, and read and talk and drink warm drinks
• go to galleries and discuss the art, or make fun of the pretentiousness of it all
• go to all the parks in our neighbour hood and find our favourite one
• go on a bike ride and bike for as long as we can
• go to the beach when the tide is out and walk, hand in hand, until you meet the waves
• play the piano, working together to make a beautiful melody
• slow dance anywhere
• take an old map and plot all of the places you plan to see together
• cook random recipes together

• superhero
• ballerina
• supermodel
• perfect
• writer
• journalist
• thin
• psychologist

• adorable
• allure
• amethyst
• autumn
• besotted
• bewitched
• bloom
• blossom
• bumblebee
• cocoa
• cusp
• dappled
• drowsy
• ember
• enchanted
• faerie
• fawn
• fleur
• froth
• iridescent
• kelsey

for children:

• aurora (f.)
• autumn (f.)
• cassandra (f.)
• cassie (f.)
• clara (f.)
• darcy (f.)
• elliot (m.)
• ellis (m.)
• eloise (f.)
• fawn (f.)
• fleur (f.)
• henry (m.)
• ivy (f.)
• lily (f.)
• lucia (f.)
• luca (m.)
• niamh (f.)
• olive (f.)
• sierra (f.)

• be a better friend
• show kelsey just how much i love her
• use a planner/diary
• look out for myself as well as others
• drink more water
• finish everything i start
• do what i want to do

• jump in front of the avarda cadavra spell
• run to latvia and back naked
• lick a homeless guy's toe
• murder my tamagotchi
• push myself down the stairs in a washing basket
• place myself in a pot of boiling soup
• put myself in a toastie maker and clamp it shut
• go to a moth farm and sleep there for the night
• volunteer as tribute

to do more of:

• scrapbooking
• diy
• reading
• flower pressing/drying
• cd mixing
• drawing & painting
• cook

to learn:

• play an instrument

• the best girlfriend i can be
• happy
• a psychiatrist
• healthy
• with kelsey forever
• content with my life

• shower whether it's because you want to, or you need to.
• do yoga whenever you want.
• run gurrd again (gotta eat better tho cheeky monkey ps gotta buy clothes).
• start cookin yey (cook for me nomnom ^.^).
• eat easier, whenever you need to or want to.
• do your make-up without worrying about what you look like.
• video call without caring what you look like (i shud probs do dis 2).
• be able to draw and write because it makes you happy, and not worry about whether it's perfect, worry about smiling and making yourself happy.
• sleepy pie whenever you need to, regardless of whether i may be tired, do it for yourself!!
• get up and feel motivated for the day; wh...

• bow pose
• camel pose
• chaturanga pose
• cobra pose
• crane pose
• downward facing dog
• firefly pose
• forearm balance
• lord of the dance pose
• lotus pose
• plank
• plow pose
• shoulderstand, headstand
• standing forward bend
• tree pose
• wide-legged standing forward bend

• adopt a pet
• audition for something
• be 100% honest for a day
• be a bridsemaid
• be a vegetarian for over 4 years
• be vegan for a month
• buy a DSLR camera
• buy a magic 8 ball and base all my decisions on it for a whole day
• buy a pair of skinny jeans that fit for once!!
• buy a piece of art
• buy a sewing machine
• buy and complete a "wreck this journal"
• buy and use up a disposable camera
• clean out my closet
• climb a massive mountain
• compliment someone every day for a week
• cover my arm in temporary tattoos like an A* twatcake
• dance in the rain

• bad mood no more
• comfort somebody
• cute roulette
• do not touch
• do nothing
• explore the world
• fireplace
• musical squares
• pro"cat"inator
• pug party
• rain sound
• rainy mood
• sigh life complete
• sleep calculator
• staggering beauty
• storm sounds
• the dawn room
• the quiet place
• the thoughts room
• the useless web
• trickling water

• carrot cake
• mango
• sushi
• avocado

collections i keep:

• buttons
• dream-catchers
• incense burners

collections i would like to keep:

• journals/sketchbooks
• pictures of strange people

• build a blanket fort, curl up inside with your teddies and read a book, or simply dream
• settle down with freshly popped popcorn and watch your favourite movies [tick them off my 'to watch' list as I go]
• make yourself tons of hot drinks: hot tea! hot cocoa! hot gingerbread lattes!
• dance around your room to delicate music and to loud, beat filled music
• open your windows fully and listen to the sounds of the world rushing by
• put on your rain coat and rain boots and go for a walk, jumping in puddles and only come home when you are drenched in water and covered in mud
  • when you are home jump in a nice hot bath, listen to soft music, with a nice warm drink, then snuggle up among soft blankets in front of a film

• to be married to my beautiful girlfriend
• a cottage deep in the woods where I can dwell in solitude
• ivy growing along the side of my cottage
• a modern but snug house in the city where i can escape from, or to
• my very own little library and large, comfy armchairs for reading them
• to learn the constellations off by heart
• a hidden box from a past century
• an old antique typewriter
• faded letters sealed with a ribbon
• a secret closet leading to the world inside my mind
• a hidden garden to get away to at dusk
• a box full of old art
• animal friends for company
• secret passages and hidden rooms, or just small crevices for hiding things
• glass terrariums
• a great fire place with burning logs

• sound:
  • raindrops, accents, thunderstorms, waves
• touch:
  • feathers, velvet, cordouroy, marble, soft skin
• scent:
  • burning fires/bonfires, inscence, when you blow candles out, cinnamon, vanilla, clean bedsheets, buttercream icing, fresh bread, coco butter
• taste:
  • mozzarella, avocado, figs, couscous, garlic, chicken
• sight:
  • symmetry, lighting, stars

• grab a book, even if you've read it before, pick a random page, and get reading(if you want make a list of quoties you like and show them to me!)
• get drawing a little picture; you may think you're bad but no-one will see it so why not!
• put on some music and boooogey the day away!
• snuggle up in bed and get yourself cosey and warm and just breathe
• do a little bit of stretches/yoga to some calm music
• eat any chocolate you can get your hands on
• hop in the bath with some candles around you and a good book, or music!
• learn to do something you've always wanted to (the splits, drawing something, learn the lyrics to a song, anything!)
• put your favourite song on and just sing ...

Reasons To Get Better: (i will add something to this list each week to make sure i stay postive throughout!!!)

• i want to make a happy and healthy future for kelsey and myself
• i wanna eat a hunk of god damn chocolate cake and not want to murder myself after
• so me tittehs actually grow a lil'
• i don't want my parents bothering about me any more
• i love the taste of food and i wanna eat everythin (yeh, i said it. take that, ana!)
• life is too precious to just fart on my existence
• i don't want to have to be secretive
• so i can prove mum and dad wrong and get somewhere in my life
• i do not want to waste my life in crazy hospitals thank you no thank you