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Remember that all suffering is made up by your & others' heads ("pain is inevitable, suffering is optional"). Remember that state of serenity on Oct 22-23, 2019 as a truly healthy state. And gently steer yourself into doing 3/3/3+1 with curiosity, self-compassion, mindfulness, the learning-goals approach instead of the performance-goals approach where possible (Er. S.' stuff helps!)

listography TERMS

a reminder: consider reading only a few pages a day on Mon-Fri, otherwise you get too scatterbrained, can't focus on the work properly

  • The Inevitable: Understanding the 12 technological forces that will shape our future (2016) by Kevin Kelly (Sep 15 - …)
    • Introduction
    • 1. Becoming (about protopia, user participation / sharing instinct, etc.)
    • the beginning of 10. Tracking
  • The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier (Jul1-…)
    • [_] read fully
    • [_] apply 3+ ideas
    • [_] review & recap the key stuff from each chapter over a period of 1-3 days
  • The Checklist Manifesto: How to Get Thing... by Atul Gawande
may 8 2019 ∞
nov 29 2019 +

a reminder: since they feel like a deep conversation with a friend, try to listen to them in the first half of Sat-Sun, when the post-effect (mind-wandering & elation & insights) won't distract you from moneymaking

  • How to Fail S5E2: Phoebe Waller-Bridge (2019), July 7 (gets stronger close to the end)
jul 7 2019 ∞
jul 8 2019 +

2019 :

  • Sigrid at Paste Studio NYC live from The Manhattan Center / the performance
  • Sigrid - Anything Could Happen(Ellie Goulding cover in the Live Lounge) / the performance
  • Aldous Harding - Imagining My Man (calming down & healing)
  • Aldous Harding - Horizon - Later… with Jools Holland - BBC Two (the performance as a whole)
  • (the whole audiovisual thing) Aldous Harding - The Barrel (Official Video)
  • entertaining:
    • ("One key to Straus’s appeal is that no matter how explicitly her songs celebrate (or mock) the queer experience […]" + another magazine described her in person as a mix of sassy banter and self-deprecation)
dec 6 2013 ∞
jul 21 2019 +

a reminder: consume this stuff very sparingly - try to replace with self-care power-ups and skills-building pomodoro sessions as much as possible.


  • watching movies/series/interviews regularly creates an illusion of living a life / dynamic life / making progress / expressing yourself (via individual consumption choices)
  • it's a way to eat away existential pain / emptiness because of not doing anything properly nourishing with your time, not building any skills / not growing - but you need to leverage that pain & hunger to move forward!
  • it triggers your biological programming for coupling, for getting well-connected socially, and it's a big no-no for you now and maybe forever, so you will just experience the pain of longing, increased lon...
may 8 2019 ∞
nov 12 2019 +


  • Gentleman Jack S01E08: getting off/out of the carriage and coming in sequence (when came back home); a passing head-touch moment with the sister
  • Gentleman Jack S01E07: "All off…"; the thermometer part of the dialogue


  • didn't track


  • (reliable mild fun) Wynonna Earp: "shut up your mouth" scene in 2x07, showing her health situation to Doc in 2x06
  • (sly stuff) Sophie Phillips as Minna Häkkinen in Veep (found on Youtube)
  • Dix pour cent S02: Colette Brancillon / Ophélia Kolb in her best moments (the ending of the running dialogue; the monologue that ended the storyline for the season): that combination of vulnerable strength +naivette+...
jan 25 2014 ∞
sep 16 2019 +

"favorite" = those people's goodness + fun (e.g., good chemistry of comedic sensibilities)

"interviews" = EXLUDING the host's monologue part or audience segments


  • Hunter Schafer Had to Warn Her Family About Scenes in Euphoria by Late Night with Seth Meyers
  • The Gifted Sophie Rundle Discusses New Drama 'Gentleman Jack' by BUILD LDN
  • Brit Marling of Netflix's 'The OA' had a Near Death Experience at Goldman Sachs by theoffcamerashow
  • Dax Shepard Wasn't Sure He Wanted to be with Kristen Bell by theoffcamerashow
  • Vicky McClure Can’t Stop Folding Her Arms | The Graham Norton Show
  • Directors Roundtable: Ryan Coogler, Alfonso Cuarón, Marielle Heller, Yorgos Lanthimos | Close Up
jan 6 2014 ∞
oct 25 2019 +

"best" = made me think, feel or/and maybe even learn a lot

(sorted by when I watched them)

2016 :

  • Virgin Mountain / Fúsi (2015) for its therapeutic effect
  • Wetlands / Feuchtgebiete (2013) for its freshness, fun daring stuff
  • but this year it's mostly some TV series episodes/storylines that affected me strongly

2015 :

  • Stations Of The Cross
  • (rediscovery) Meet Joe Black
  • Youth (2015)

2014 : non of it cracked me open/affected me as strongly as the movies from 2013' list, except for 20 and d'ecart though

  • Ida (2013) and Sara Prefers to Run (2013)...
jan 6 2014 ∞
may 9 2017 +

will work only once a year; imperfect films with some fun/great/therapeutic/human-warmth scenes OR perfect films

not sure they are remedies though. they might express what I feel or give me what I need in terms of human warmth, but this, in turn, might actually increase the hunger/need -> make me less functional.

most of them aren't realistic enough to learn life lessons from them

in random order

  • Meet Joe Black (1998)
  • Hallam Foe (2007) / Mister Foe
  • Big (1988)
  • Forrest Gump (1994)
  • Stealing Beauty (1996, Bertolucci)
  • Notting Hill (1999)
  • Two Weeks Notice (2002) - Sandra Bullock & Hugh Grant
  • Mad Dog and Glory (1993) - Robert de Niro & Uma Thurman
jan 11 2014 ∞
jul 1 2016 +
  • aunt in Ida (2013), seen in Dec 2014
  • bartender in Ali: Fear Eats the Soul, seen in 2012 or earlier
  • yoga teacher in The Skin I Live In, seen in summer 2013
  • that women mentor/psychologist/community advisor or whoever she is in Little Jerusalem (seen somewhere around 2008)
  • Piglet in the USSR version of the animation movie
dec 31 2014 ∞
dec 31 2014 +
  • Bill Murray in Mad Dog and Glory. And in the dinner scene in Rushmore
  • Hugh Grant in Two Weeks Notice, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Notting Hill. I like this shade of "life is meaningless" about him (his characters?) in combination with a relevant comedic sensibility & pretty youthful energy - still an inaccurate characterization though, review it
  • Daniel Auteuil in comedic roles (e.g. in Chameleon)
  • Fabrice Luchini 's eyes in comedic scenes
  • Gerard Depardieu 's efforlessness in comedic roles
  • Harrison Ford in Witness (1985)
jan 27 2014 ∞
jun 13 2016 +
  • TV: Madeleine Martin (Swedish actress) in the comedic bits in Sjukt Oklar (2018)
  • TV: Melanie Scrofano in the comedic bits of Wynonna Earp
  • Olivia Colman when funny or dramatic - her animated childish (& mature at the same time) face, the way she is (very organiclaly - as if its a vital part of her) always apt for comedy, the way she says comedic lines
  • Valeria Bruni Tedeschi as a comedian
  • Micheline Lanctôt in Sarah Prefers to Run (2013) - I guess she was just being herself, but still she seemed like a beautiful human
  • Cecile de France in Chinese Puzzle, the demonstration scene in L'Auberge Espagnole, The Kid with a Bike
  • Emmanuelle Devos in comedies (subtle physical comedy, gusto, unbeautiful appearance according to conventions) and being seductive in In the Beginning (2009)
  • in comedies / comedic scenes
jan 3 2014 ∞
oct 22 2019 +
  • (comedic) 20 ans d'ecart (2013)
sep 21 2014 ∞
sep 21 2014 +
  • "inspiring, electric, she's like a great wild horse" (about Vanessa Redgrave)
  • "brisk, earnest and articulate" (about Anna Paquin in person)
feb 25 2014 ∞
jun 23 2019 +
  • "Every ounce of energy you waste worrying about someone else’s progress or performance is one less ounce of energy you can spend on yourself, on building your skills and making your own strides forward."
  • "It's no surprise that life is richer and more fulfilling when we actively invest our time and energy in the things that are most important or meaningful to us. Yet all too often our attempts to avoid unpleasant feelings get in the way of doing what we truly value."
  • "If we live a full life, we will feel the full range of human emotions."
  • "Looking after myself is a full time job."
  • "Life is like climbing a mountain: there are easy stretches and tough ones. But if you’re open and interested in your experience, then the obstacles you encounter will help you to learn, grow and devel... Naturally, it’s far easier to be mindful when the ... This is easier said than done, but you c...
apr 11 2014 ∞
sep 3 2021 +
  • feeling well-rested in the morning, after getting enough of deep sleep, on a healthy schedule
  • a quiet morning (being alone & not talking for the first 3h after getting up)
  • hitting my moneymaking goal for the month
  • when I notice that the green tea I've drunk is indeed producing the desired effect
  • the pleasantly tired & buzzing mental muscles after a 30min session of BrainHQ
  • when after being dark and rainy, the morning weather gradually but quite quickly changes into friendly & sunny - feels like a start of a new, idyllic life
  • a funny line in the article I'm reading
  • when the director, writer, and cinematographer of a movie/TV episode with female protagonists are all women - you always sense it (and always sense if one of them w...
jun 24 2019 ∞
sep 21 2020 +
  • getting sociable online = in 95% of the cases, it's a sign that I'm unwell (routinely not getting enough sleep, enough B vitamins; not managing the stress or agitation properly; eating something so sweet or/and cocoa-rich that it makes me very impulsive), and if it so in the current case, then socializing now would just add more stress and distractions and damage (unlike what I'm told by the way friendships are depicted on TV/film & all those research studies showing how health-promoting and stress-reducing it is to be sociable/socially connected; I assume this abnormality of my reactions could be because of hyperreactivity of ADHD brain / dopamine production issue OR/AND because I'm not good enough yet at finding people who are a good match for me).
    • QUICK FIX: to prevent yourself from contacting someone online:
jun 4 2019 ∞
oct 26 2019 +
  • Identify clear pause points (the points at which you / the team must stop to run through a set of checks before proceeding).
  • Consider preparing checklists for all stages of the process ("during the research phase, during decision making, during execution of the decision, and even in the period after making an investment when one should be monitoring for problems").
  • Consider choosing a DO-CONFIRM (instead of a READ-DO) format. It gives greater flexibility in performing the tasks while nonetheless having you stop at key points to confirm that critical steps have not been overlooked.
  • Keep the checklist short (generally, 5-9 items, although in some contexts it makes sense to make them longer) by focusing on "the killer items" — the steps that are most dangerous to skip and sometimes overlooked nonetheless (checklists are NOT comprehensive how-to guides; they are for supporting expert professionals; they shouldn't include the ...
jun 22 2019 ∞
jul 11 2019 +

Happify's S.T.A.G.E. framework (5 key happiness skills, research):

  • Savor
  • Thank
  • Aspire
  • Give
  • Empathize


From the handout from a Coursera course:

The PEA is:

  • Being in PNS arousal; feeling positive and hopeful; thinking about the future, dreams, and possibilities.
  • Being optimistic, focusing on one’s strengths.
  • Excited about trying something new, experimenting.
  • Being in resonant relationships.

The NEA is:

  • Being in SNS arousal; feeling negative an...
apr 14 2014 ∞
jun 21 2019 +

some kind of manifesto:

6t: R-only (how-to-cheap, film-cheap), E-only (comedy, foreign-country-perspective, multiple perspectives, textbook reviews)


"Nothing could ever happen out there in the world with one of my books that could be NEARLY as interesting and transformative as what happens internally while I’m creating it. Alone in a small room, operating at the very furthest edges of my talents, building an imagined world and peopling it with characters who must seem real, and—most challenging—constantly navigating the voices in my mind that want to limit and sabotage me...THAT’S the ...

jan 15 2014 ∞
jul 7 2019 +


  • IRON: tea reduces the amount of iron absorbed by the body (wait at least ½ -1 hour after eating); green tea loses its potential as an antioxidant when taken after an iron-rich meal (source); Vitamin C increases the absorption of non-heme (i.e. from plants) iron; lack of iron increases ADHD symptoms.
  • that body temperature falls down quite significantly between 10pm and 9:30am, at 2am-7am it's the lowest - that's why it's so cold to stay up at night even if the room temperature is about the same.
  • "The flavonoids in onions tend to be more concentrated in the outer layers of the flesh. …For example, a red onion can lose about 20% of its quercetin and almost 75% of its anthocyanins if it is "overpeeled.""
  • DSM-5 about ADHD: "Signs of the disorder may be minimal or absent when the individ...
dec 31 2014 ∞
may 31 2021 +
  • hyphens:
    • No hyphen is called for in a compound modifier with an “-ly” adverb ("politically charged cases")
    • "After ten and a half years"
    • "one-on-one interpersonal conflict"
  • may vs might:
    • contrary-to-fact hypothetical: "might have", not "may have"
    • "Genetic analysis […] hints that the prehistoric world may have been filled with "hybrid" humans"
  • verb: lie
    • "has turned and lain down" (here, we need the past participle of “lie,” not of “lay”)
    • "After a week of lying low"
  • singular / plural
    • "one of the areas that were hit hardest" / "one of the hardest-hit a...
jul 7 2019 ∞
nov 17 2019 +
  • rosy retrospection
    • why it's bad: a) "Something may be fairly enjoyable, but a comparison to a positively distorted past event may diminish your perception of the current event. // b) Without storing negative experiences, you may fail to incorporate constructive feedback. Rosy mechanisms may help to explain why people often seem to repeat the mistakes of the past."
    • reasons behind RR, theories: a) "our tendency to not take note of moments occurring in the middle of a story, the less dramatic or exciting parts, and thus less memorable ones"; b) "people steer their recollections of events towards their pre-constructed narratives."
    • vs nostalgia: "nostalgia describes a general longing for the past, while rosy retrospection is a cognitive bias in which we...
jul 9 2019 ∞
jul 9 2019 +
  • Equivocation / A word is used in two different senses in an argument / Major premise: Nothing is better than eternal happiness. Minor premise: A sandwich is better than nothing. Conclusion: A sandwich is better than eternal happiness.
  • False Cause / Supposing two events are connected when they are not
  • Hasty Generalisation (Overgeneralization) / When a conclusion about a group is drawn from an unrepresentative sample, especially a sample that is too small or too narrow. It is the opposite of slothful induction.
  • False Dilemma / Something is falsely claimed to be an "either/or" situation, when in fact there is at least one additional option. The false dilemma fallacy can also arise simply by accidental omission of additional options rather than by deliberate deception.
jul 7 2019 ∞
jul 11 2019 +
  • "Always Better". " "Life enhancing? Life diminishing?" Both questions I ask myself when confronted with a decision."
  • backward planning (a scientific proof of its benefits)
  • "If, by way of habit, you consistently begin every decision-making process by considering how much time and effort that decision is worth, who needs to have input, and when you’ll have an answer, you'll have developed the first important muscle for speed. There are decisions that deserve days of debate and analysis, but the vast majority aren’t worth more than 10 minutes. …It's important to internalize how irreversible, fatal or non-fatal a decision may be. Very few can't be undone." (and the rest of this)
  • Satisficing / a portmanteau of satisfy and suffice / searching through the available alternatives until an acceptability threshold is met
  • Eliminate the worst options first, to simplify the choice between multiple (similar) options
  • Decision Hierarchy: take as given, decide now, decide later
  • WRAP (widen your frame, reality-check your assumptions, attain distance, prepare to be..._see this article for basic explanations & Heath b..._
jul 14 2019 ∞
nov 13 2019 +
  • Jul 2: "When we think probabilistically, we are less likely to use adverse results alone as proof that we made a decision error, because we recognize the possibility that the decision might have been good but luck and/or incomplete information (and a sample size of one) intervened."
  • Jul 6: "I find it helpful to visualise responsibility as bags of shopping. If you go through life carrying everyone else’s bags, eventually you become so weighed down you can’t move. You then have a choice: either collapse under the weight or stop, divide the bags and give them back to their owners. This isn’t unkind, it’s the start for a potentially equal, healthy relationship." x
  • Jul 7: "These people didn’t repudiate, regret or feel guilty about their good memories. But because they also dug for the exceptions and sacrifices that lurked be..._(Beware Social Nostalgia)_
jul 2 2019 ∞
mar 8 2020 +

"Don't raise your voice, improve your argument. How can you change someone's mind? Unfortunately, facts aren't always enough. You need to understand and engage your audience's:

  • Prior beliefs
  • Moral values
  • Trusted sources"


4 rules for dealing with negative feedback

  • Is it true? (yes or no. If no, move to number 3.)
  • Can you absolutely know it's true? (yes or no)
  • How do you react, what happens when you believe that thought?
  • Who would you be without that thought?


On public storytelling / presentations:

jun 30 2019 ∞
jul 14 2019 +